So last night I was listening to the radio and an interesting topic came up. Super spenders.
The woman who called in to the radio show had called to confess that she had been spending LARGE amounts of money without her husband knowing. She even went so far as to get a PO Box in order to have the credit card bills be perfectly hidden from her husband.
She had racked up tens of thousands of dollars in debt, and her husband had absolutely no idea until she had to go in for emergency surgery, and he answered her phone when the debtors called. The man filed for divorce on grounds of
fraud. 
6% of women are over-spenders and 5.5% of men have the same compulsive shopping gene, though Ive yet to meet one. Spending any amount of money while you are creditly (yep, I made that up) linked to another person is not only selfish, but incredibly rude.
I believe you should make financial decisions over $100.00 with your significant other, in order to maintain any kind of civility when it comes to the bank account. Otherwise, You are commiting Financial Infedility.
What do you think, do you ever overspend?
Do you talk to your significant other about big purchases?
Comments (32)
I do over spend but I don't have a husband so really I'm just hurting myself. =/
Spending requires self-control. You should only get what you need, and for things that you want...my trick is to save up twice the amount of money for the item that way when I buy it, I'm not screwed for needing that money when something else goes wrong.
i do not over-spend... but i do NOT want to be with an over-spender... esp. one like her, in the story. that's ridiculous.
I don't have a significant other, but my mom and I share my bank account at the moment (like, she uses it to get me plane tickets, and her name is linked to it). Anything under $10 I will get without asking (That doesn't apply to things I need, like food or the phone I just got for the apartment). But I just asked to pre-order the HSM3 soundtrack. She kind of gets mad when I do. (It is my money, and I do ask before I buy every single thing...)
I try not to overspend, though I have been bad and spent almost $50 randomly over the past 2 weeks (all together, not each time). For some people that probably doesn't seem like much. And since I have quite a bit in the bank I guess it is ridiculous for me to keep thinking I am draining my account...I just don't want to be too much in debt, so I want to have enough to pay my housing payment next month.
I don't over-spend, I do spend a lot at times tho. Myself and my pre-ance (thats pre-fiance) usually let each other know if we are going to make large purchases (Wii, television, lots of pretty business clothes) because we live together and we do share bills.
I don't have an SO now, but even when I was married I was a tightwad...a big issue with us though was his spending. He would spend $500.00 plus a month on Starbucks coffee alone. I won't even get started on his spending for golf and other entertainment. I totally agree...finances can make or break a relationship and should be always discussed together in their entirety.
thankfully, we try to not overspend ... but if we do, it's a joint effort. we discuss everything we plan to do, and anything we've already done — hopefully we continue to keep an open dialog about $$$!
I go as far as talking to him about even my $5 purchases! I don't want him to wonder where any of the money went and try to spend it and it not be there because I didn't inform him that I would be spending money.
I think you both NEED to be just as informed as the other, otherwise...
you put it best---financial infidelity!
I agree with you.
I always work within my means and never overspend. I also agree that when people are sharing accounts, it's best to communicate any major purchasing decisions before executing them. We already have have enough fiscally irresponsible consumers contributing to the credit crunch...such a shame that those of us who have our finances in order ultimately bear the brunt of bailing these folks out
I love to overspend!
well, i'm currently trying to save cash and get a job (as long college classes don't overkill me head by this winter *_*)
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funk! if my wife went spending behind my back and never told me about it... yeah, i'd be pissed off
I have never had to share my finiancial decsions with anyone so I cant really answer but I think once you are married or living with someone you need to have disclosre and you should set an amount where you agree to talk first.
Right now though I make the decsions because I make the cash and when I ask myself about buying something I want, it always sounds like I agree. LOL
i overspend too... i have no savings, although i do pay off my $1000 school payments and my credit card bills in full every month. but i think i have around 2 years to live in splendor before i have to deal with retirement, 401k's and buying a house...
Just proves my theory that you can never really wholly know somebody else. This is the reason why I am against choosing to be "creditly linked" with any individual. It's the same reason I refuse to refer someone for a job. I can only be responsible for what I do, but in some situations, decisions that others make can have a crippling affect on someone else by no fault of that individual. It seems like an unnecessary risk to me.
i love to spend (only on bargains and clearance) but, being damn near in the cheese line has cured any possible overspending for me. My husband and I discuss pretty much any purchase. Not that one would object, but, I sort of feel like clearing it with him before buying something online or in the store, just so we are on the same page. Everything is out there for us money wise. Last thing I consulted him about was a Halloween costume for one of our kids. It was $23. (way more than i would normally spend on something like that) but, it is his favorite character and we are running out of time to find something. This was an interesting post. Hope you are feeling better.
Smash the control images, smash the control machine.
Not only would I have divorced that bitch, but I would've sued for every cent she fucking took from me.
That's a really shitty thing to do to someone. Bad enough a person can get screwed by the government, but now their own spouse is stealing from them and covering up their tracks?
I've actually had to scale back my spending so I could afford to go out with my girlfriend. If anything it's kinda lightened me on my Video Game addiction.
She and I have a pretty good system that seems to work for us since we live so many miles apart. If she comes to my house, I pay for food and entertainment. If I go to her house, she pays. (granted, I kinda fudge that rule because I go to her house more often, so I pick up my share.)
Interesting ideas, but they don't apply to me- not linked to anyone. Best I can do is check with my bank account and then more often than not decide no.
Overspending is one thing that I'm not into. I fully agree with your rule about discussing a purchase over $100 with your SO. It's only fair, especially if your finances are linked together!
I spend all the money I have, and any money I get usually doesn't last more than a few weeks. I am, however, a teenager with no bills except my car insurance and gas (which I put aside when I get my paycheck). I figure I should be able to enjoy my extra money now, since I know I won't have any a year from now when I'm paying for college.
oh gosh, almost any purchase beyond the necessities (food, household items, etc.) needs to be discussed! Just easier to make mention of it before hand, instead of it turning into a fight (or a divorce over fraud!) later.
I like shopping, especially Barnes & Nobles, Borders, and Yesterday's books. (Used bookstores are awesome). But I am not a big spender. I went on a trip to a Shakespeare festival with my pastor and his family, and earned 200 dollar spending money for 10 days. Talk about subsistent living, 20 dollars a day!?! Where is the government when I need it.
I definitely spend too much money.
But its all my money so I don't care. I'm not tied to anyone :P
and actually I have a guy pinning for me now who is willing to pay all my bills. HAH :D
Good call. I don't overspend but sometimes I make unwise choices. I'm also a single mom so if I choose to buy a Dora dvd for $8 instead of buying fabric softner, well then my clothes are not as soft that week. But it's hard to spend money, when you don't have any.